Traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall

Sometimes, life presents you with an opportunity that is completely out of the blue!  While having breakfast at the hotel, Darin struck up a conversation with a gentleman who was obviously a military veteran.  During the brief time, he mentioned that he was one of the representatives of the 'Traveling Replica Vietnam Memorial Wall' which was in the parking lot right around the corner from the hotel!  So, of course, we packed the children into the Bronco and went to check it out.  It was sobering.  The traveling wall is 3/4 the size of the wall in D.C.  It was painful to visually see how many of our people were lost in such a few short years.  How many of these souls left young families behind?  How many of these souls were too young to have even had a chance to really experience life?  I look at Charlie, he just had his 19th birthday - how many of these names belonged to soldiers younger than he is now?

The Grand Canyon at Sunrise

While planning the trip to my Dad's wedding in Arizona, it occurred to me that Damien and Airian have never seen the Grand Canyon.  So, of course, I had to add that into the travel plans.  I, however, have seen the Canyon numerous times; but, one thing that I had not seen was sunrise at the Canyon...  So, we left Junction about Eleven o'clock Thursday evening and traveled all night.  When we arrived at the Canyon, I had enough time to bail from the Bronco, make it down to the rim, find a spot that called to me, and sit in the quietness of the morning for about 5 minutes before the sun broke over the ridge. I can't describe or put into words the breathtaking beauty of the crisp morning air and the walls of the Canyon being slowly lit by the sun.  It was a moment of peace and knowledge that always, the sun will rise, a new day will dawn, and we will have another chance to light the world in our own unique way.

I had not ever been to the Tower on the east entrance to the Canyon.  It was great to be able to have a new place to explore as a 'new' family.  

It's SO close!!  Always remember (Darin), "Don't feed the wildlife!!"

The English teacher in me had a real hard time leaving this sign alone.....

The children (clockwise): Airian, Jaidyn, Charles, Damien, Tori

From the bottom of the tower looking up to the ceiling

While they were being sworn in as Junior Rangers, the children were able to try on the Rangers' hat.  One of the highlights of visiting any National park is learning about the park through the Junior Ranger Program.  It gives kids a great opportunity to learn about park specific wildlife, features, and history.  In the end, they are sworn it and given a badge.  They really feel that they have become a part of something bigger than themselves.

Charles in the Rangers' hat.

Jaidyn in the Rangers' hat.

Damien in the Rangers' hat.

All in all, the day was beautiful.  We explored, ooh'd, and awe'd and make some memories that will last a lifetime.

Navigating through molasses

Do you ever feel like you are trudging up hill - through a river of molasses - in February? Then you can relate to my current state of mind!!!  I could continue with many cliches about how I am feeling, but I think that pretty much sums it up! Let me tell you where I am at....

I started out the year with a clear vision in my head of how I wanted the year to go (organized, prepared, focused, etc.).  It has not gone so well!!  My house is a disaster - I still have my Christmas bottles on my mantle - they should have been painted for February about 2 weeks ago.  I'm supposed to have my laundry room and my office done and organized - not even started!  I'm supposed to have a routine and a schedule and a family organization center - um..... nope!! There's more.....

On the other hand, I have started exercising every day, whether its yoga, strength training, walking the dogs, its something every day.  I've been drinking the amount of water that I am supposed to be drinking.  I've started teaching art in two more classrooms and am interviewing for a paid art position next week. I threw Jaidyn a really, really cool birthday party.  I worked 17 days in a row to help cover a situation at work.

After reviewing the month of January, looking at my goals and my vision, reflecting of progress made or not, and looking ahead at where I need to be, I have come to the conclusion that my life plan needs to be way more flexible that it is currently!  So, my 12 week plan has become more of an as I get it done plan.  I don't feel the need to beat myself up for not sticking to a set timeline.  Life happens daily and sometimes I am motivated to get things done and sometimes I'm not.  Yes, my life is chaotic; yes, it stresses me out; yes, changes need to be made.  But, no more timelines.

I have a renewed commitment to my goals. I can do this; I just have to navigate through the molasses.

12 Weeks till Spring ....

I mean, 12 weeks until spring break is over.  At which time my house will be deep-cleaned and organized.  Let me share my plan:

Week One:

The bedroom should be an area of sanctuary in the home.  It should be the one place that everything is at peace and the rest of the world can be shut out.  Those reasons are why I chose to focus on my bedroom first.

Week Two:

My biggest challenge, hands down, is keeping up with the laundry.  I have tried the load-a-day system, the all-in-one-day system, the each person does their own system - fails, every single one!  I HATE laundry, so the thought of doing it every day is awful (I really tried to think of a more colorful way to say that but it just flippin' sucks!).  Doing 10 loads in a day inevitably leads to a load left in the washer, a load left in the dryer, a couple unfolded loads on the cedar chest (where I put them after I moved them from the bed so I could go to bed....), a tub of unmatched socks, stack of clothes that haven't yet been put away and maybe five loads completely put away.  I don't even want to tell you how the 'everyone do your own' thing didn't work out - suffice to say it was an epic fail.  So, in addition to deep cleaning and reorganizing my laundry room, I will also come up with some kind of laundry system.

Weeks Three and Four:

My second biggest challenge is keeping up with the paperwork.  My 'office' consists of stacks of papers, randomly placed craft drawers, bins of magazines, etc.  I cannot see my desk top and haven't been able to for a couple of months now.  I gave myself two weeks for this project because it is going to require purging and filing and sorting and.....

Week Five:

My bathroom

Week Six:

The Living Room

Week Seven:

The Dining Room

Week Eight:

The Upstairs Bathroom

Week Nine:

The Kitchen - I'll have to kick Darin out or do it while he is at work since I will be invading his territory!!

Week Ten:

The Shed - It's a small shed, meant to hold gardening supplies and yard equipment.  Unfortunately it leaks - something we didn't know until we had stored cardboard boxes in there.

Weeks Eleven and Twelve:

By far, the largest project is The Music Room.  It is a 10 X 14 metal shed that has become a storage place for whatever we couldn't find a place for in the house, including everything that came from my classroom - I accumulated a lot in 2 years!  Unfortunately, while storing things, order was not the first thing on my mind.  It is chaos - there isn't even a path from one door to the other - it's horrible!  The two weeks that I have slated for that project are the two weeks of spring break.  Darin is taking one of those weeks off; I think we can get it accomplished.

Each week I will post pictures of the before and after of each room and describe how I did what I did.  Please comment and make suggestions, I can use all the help I can get!!

Say 'Hello' to a brand new day!

One of the things that I love about January 1st, is that it seems to be a chance to start fresh.  To say, "OK, this is where I was, this is where I'm at, this is where I want to be."


So, while perusing Pinterest, I came across this really cool template that I thought I would share.  It took longer than I had anticipated and was not nearly as easy as I had expected!  These aren't in any particular order, just what happened to cross my mind.

10 Highlights:

1. Mom - It may seem odd that Mom's passing would be on the highlight list; one of the last conversations that we had, she talked about how she felt trapped and helpless.  Now she isn't.  I like to imagine her soul at peace and if there is a heaven she is riding her horse around the streets of gold.
2. Student Success - While I can't share details, I had 2 students that were extraordinarily successful last school year.
3. Xmas Party - The first adult party that I have hosted, it was a pretty good success.  A good time was had by all, I think.
4. Charlie's Graduation - I am combining his graduation with his 18th birthday.  It is almost an indescribable feeling of pride, love, hope, and so many more emotions, while at the same time surreal.  It doesn't seem like it's been 18 years.
5. Married - Viva Las Vegas, Baby!! What a fantastic week it was!  On April 1st, I did what I had sworn never to do again and I'm loving every minute of it!
6. 42nd b-day - Those who have read The Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy will understand the significance of the number.  For those who don't, in that book, 42 is the answer to everything.  So for this year only, I have been the answer, whenever the kids don't know, they just say, "Mom is the answer!" While that has been fun, I put my b-day as a highlight because my party was small and fun and planned for me! Then, the night ended with my honey and I in the hot tub under a softly falling snow - big flakes, REALLY big flakes. It was perfect.
7. Teaching Art - This fall I have been volunteering in Jaidyn's classroom as an Art Heritage Instructor.  It is great to have interaction with the students and be teaching again.
8. Award Winning Tori - Tori is involved in many activities in which she is outstanding and contributed to the group in so many ways.  However, one area that spotlights her is her pianist ability.  When she competes, she wins.  She is amazing.
9. Xmas Presents - I handmade the majority of Christmas presents that were given this year.  On top of that, they were individualized.  I gave with love.
10. Acceptance - There were many self realizations this year, but the most significant was realizing that my dream/vision of teaching was not reality and that reality sucked!  It takes a special person to be a teacher - connecting with students and inspiring them to be their greatest in a world that constantly drags them down. That I can do; I can build a relationship with a student, inspire them, build them up, teach them to be and do and think.  Unfortunately, that is only 15% of the job.  The rest of 'teaching' is paperwork, parents, administration, cohorts, meetings, agendas, duties, lesson planning, and, so much more.  I have never been organized.  I have never been a planner. My favorite excuse is that I work best under pressure.  These qualities don't fit the requirements needed for 'teaching'.  When I was able to accept that my vision and the reality would never coexist, I was able to let go of that ideal and with that, I was able to let go of the disappointment, anger, and guilt of which I had been holding. It was an amazing release.

10 5 Disappointments:   (I thought for many hours but my year really didn't have that many downs.)

1. We were not able to attend the State Marching Band tournament.
2. We were not able to attend the All-State Choir Concert.
3. I didn't get my paperwork turned in in time to renew my CO license.  To be honest, I didn't know if I even wanted to renew it when it came time.
4. My teaching contract was not renewed at the end of the school year.
5. Even though I am making attempts, I can't seem to find a routine that keeps our family organized, our chores done, and chaos out of our sanctuary.

3 Game Changers:

1. Losing my contract and not securing another teaching position 
2. Loss of Income but with the same output
3. Adjusting our schedules to fit with the night audit position

3 Things I focused On:

1. Stepping back into the role of Mom - By that I mean reading with the kids every night, making super cool treats to take to classroom parties, helping more one on one with homework, playing more games, and spending quality time together. It's a work in progress.
2. Being a better employee - my last position suffered because of my lack of organization, I am trying to be better organized at work with the steps I take to complete my work
3. Organization - This is a work in progress and I didn't make nearly as much progress as I had hoped!

3 Things I forgot:  I'm sure that by this the template meant tasks or projects; I took it a different way.

1. To be a wife - The last half of the year has been overly stressful because of the circumstances we are facing.  Our focus has been on survival - day by day survival. At times it has felt like I am living with my best friend instead of my husband.  We have kind of lost touch a bit in the romance department. It's ok, though; I have a plan!
2. To have fun - When we first met, our family spent a lot of time playing music together, hanging out with friends, being outside our home and socializing with other people.  Recently, we have become hermit-like in our struggle to survive.
3. To step outside my bubble - I have been so focused on trying to fix what's going on in my home and in my bubble, that I have failed in checking in with those in my outer bubble.  I have said, "Yes, lets get together!" and then never made a date.  I've said, "I'll call you later!" - 3 months ago. I realize that true friends are able to pick up the phone and pick up where they left off and we do, but in the meantime there is much that is left unshared. 

Reflection and plans for next year:

Over the past year, the obstacles and challenges have been few, but they have been momentous and daunting.  I am stronger for having been challenged by them.  I would like to say that I have overcome them all, however, that would be a big, fat lie.  I am working toward it.  I don't put much faith in resolutions, but I think having a vision of where you want your life to go during the year requires planning.

Check back soon to see my plan for the year 2015 - it is going to be an amazing journey!